You guys! My boyfriend John is doing some hour sets at UCB and you should totally go. I know I might be biased but he is the funniest (I thought this even before he was my boyfriend). Come hear him tell ridiculous stories at John Mulaney: For The Hour!
I am very proud to have come up with that name for him and yes, it is a Charlie Rose reference.
There are a lot of different ways to wear eyeliner. It’s fun to try out various methods to see what looks best on you and how the position of the wings changes the shape of your eyes. I named the four type of styles described below for clarity, this is not technically what they are called. I used MAC Blacktrack for all of these looks.
The 60’s Wing:
First line the inner rim of the upper lid from corner to corner. Next using the thin point of your eyeliner brush trace a line from the outer corner of your eye moving upward and out on a 45 to 55 degree angle. The tip of this line will be the tip of your wing so use it as a guide as you apply more liner. Drag the eyeliner brush from the inner corner of the eye outward along the lash line. Next, starting from the tip of the wing line apply liner moving inward until it meets the liner along the lashline. Look as the photo, this is about 60% of the way in from the outer corner. Lastly, fill in any places in the line that doesn’t look smooth or doesn’t fluidly connect. When I apply this type of liner I do it in steps using short strokes and build up to this look. Once everything looks even, I slightly extend the wing a little more. Leave the bottom of the eyes bare
The Low Wing:
First line the inner rim of the upper lid from corner to corner. Then drag the eyeliner brush from the inner corner of the eye outward along the lash line. Trace a line outward on a 180 degree angle from the outer corner of the eye. Next connect the liner on on the lash line to the wing by dragging your eyeliner brush outward toward the point. Notice that this wing only goes out, it does not go up like the 60s wing.
The Half Cleopatra:
Follow all the steps of The Low Wing. Then apply liner on the lower inner rim, but only on the outer corner (to about 45% of the way in). Next apply liner under the lash line and drag outward until it meets the point of the low wing. This will make the wing slightly thick.
Follow the steps of The Half Cleopatra. Then line the entire inner rim of the lower lid. Smudge the liner under the lower lash line. Finally extend the wing out a little further to get the dramatic Cleopatra look.
This is an exercise in drawing so the trick to getting these right is to really study the photos. Draw what you see, not what your think you see and with practice, practice, practice you will be able to master these techniques.
Washing your hair; a lot of people do it every day. A lot of girls do it every other day and some guys do it never. I do it like two to three times a week. Ok, before you jump to the conclusion that I am a dirty person, let me clarify that I shower everyday, I just don’t wash my hair every time I shower. I actually used to wash my hair every day. I was convinced that after a day of not washing my hair looked greasy and stringy and needed to be cleaned. I was probably right, you see sebaceous glands (which excrete oil into our skin and hair) are plastic in nature, meaning the the amount of oil they secrete is directly related to the amount of oil we wash away. So consider this: the sebaceous glands have a genetically fixed amount of oil they “know” they need to secrete to keep our skin and hair healthy. It is because of this that most of us don’t have papery dry skin or on the other extreme, oil pouring our of out scalps. The glands more or less know when to secrete oil and when to stop secreting oil. If you are constantly washing the oil out of your hair your sebaceous glands will compensate by producing more oil. That is why if you continuously wash your hair every day you’ll notice that it will start to look greasy by the end of the day or at least the next morning, prompting you to wash it again. On the other hand if you don’t wash this oil out of your hair your sebaceous glands compensate by slowing the amount of oil produced and secreted from the scalp.
The amount which you wash or don’t wash your hair is actually training these glands to react in a specific way. That is way when I was washing my hair every day it started to look greasy by the end of the day and needed to be washed the next morning; my sebaceous glands were compensating for the oil I was washing out of my hair every day, by producing more of it.
So, if all of this is true, then it can be assumed that you can train your hair to get less greasy, by cutting down on the amount of times you shampoo your hair. This won’t happen immediately, but it will only take a couple of weeks before you start to see a difference in your hair. If you wash your hair every day, first start by washing your hair every other day. Now be aware, if you are used to washing it every day you hair is not going to look good on the second day, at least not right away, but I urge you to ride it out. Wear it in a ponytail or pull it back with clips, do something that makes you feel better about it, but don’t wash it! Every person’s body works differently, so it would be difficult for me to give an exact time frame in which your hair will change, you need to judge for yourself. Soon you will notice that on the “other” day it won’t look greasy at all. If you want to wash your hair less than this, cut back another day, and eventually it won’t look greasy on the second day.
I recommend using a boar bristle brush to brush your hair when it starts to look a little greasy. These brushes grab the oil and move it from the root of your hair down the shaft. Not only will this move the oil away from your scalp, but it will also moisturize the shaft of your hair, which is rarely touched by the scalps natural oil. The oil that secretes from your scalp is better than any conditioner on the market. When you do shampoo your hair, shampoo it twice. The first time you shampoo you are kind of moving all the dirt and oil around, the second time you are actually getting your hair clean. You’ll be able to tell this when the shampoo get super sudsy the second time around.
A couple months ago Christa D’Souza wrote an article for W magazine about trying to go for a full month without washing her hair. She couldn’t make it the full month, and rightfully so. Not washing your hair for an entire month is gross. We are not living in the dark ages, it’s not appropriate to look dirty and smell bad. So that said, if you try this experiment and it doesn’t work for you then by all means, go back to washing your hair as frequently as you need to. Some people have more active sebaceous glands and not matter what their hair is going to get greasy in 36 hours. But, if you’re will to take the plunge and try this out I think you will find that your hair will be healthier, shinier, and you will need to shampoo it a lot less than you thought you did!
Oh one last thing, here’s a little secret about shampoo: The reason why your hair feels so good after you have it washed in a salon is because high-end shampoo has a lot of conditioner in it. It is not “better” shampoo than Pantene (or something like Patene) that you can buy at a drug store. The different between 25 dollar and 8 dollar shampoo is negligible. If you want softer hair, buy a moisturizing shampoo and a heavier conditioner or conditioning mask. Also, eat avocados!
"You TWEEZE your eyebrows." Or at least that’s what one of my teachers at Vidal Sassoon used to say. But this guy also once told us a story about beating a homeless man’s begging hands out of his car window with a Louis Vuitton handbag, so in my opinion you needn’t put a lot of weight in his strict ideas of etiquette. I say, pluck ‘em, tweeze ‘em, do what you dig, just please (please-oh-please) don’t do too much of it. Also, I wouldn’t recommend plucking a chicken, it’s probably gross.
Over tweezing/waxing your eye brows is a really bad thing to do, because (like all other hair that you wax off) eventually it is stop growing back. I know this first hand. When I was a kid I had this nervous habit where I unconsciously pulled out my eyebrows. After a while they stopped growing back and resulted in very thin brows on the outer corner of my left eyebrow. Killing the hair follicle is great for legs, bikini lines, etc, but trust me, you’re really really gonna want your eye brows in the future. Not only are they a major vehicle for expression, they are also pretty and faces without them look weird.
The first thing I tell people to do with their eye brows is GROW THEM OUT! It’s ok if they look like shit for a couple of weeks, no one is really noticing and the end result will be totally worth it. Eyebrow styles, like clothes, have gone through a range of fads throughout time, for example in the 30s eyebrows were super thin (often waxed off and penciled in). But currently we are not in a thin eyebrow phase, so don’t be afraid to let them get a little thicker.
Once you feel like they are grown out sufficiently you can clean them up by tweezing them yourself, or if you don’t trust your own hand, by going somewhere else. If you are letting someone else tweeze your eyebrows it is important to be explicite about what you want. It’s true, they are trained professionals, but that doesn’t mean they know your personal style, so speak up for yourself. Say, “I like to keep my brows full, but shaped.”
I know there are a lot of different opinions on the “correct” way to shape eyebrows, so what I’m going to suggest to you is only my personal opinion and doesn’t mean other people are doing it wrong. However, I stand by the rule that unless you have a serious unibrow nothing should be waxed from the inner corner of your eyebrows. I do NOT believe that eye brows should line up perfectly from the inner corner of the eye, I think they should start further in toward the nose bridge. Most people are fine, stray hairs there, don’t tweeze them! So basically measure straight up from the inner corner of your eye and then move inward slightly, NOT out toward the outer corner of the eye. If you have stray hairs between your eyebrows just tweeze them a little, without making a hard line where your eyebrows begin.
If you want to take a crack at tweezing your own eyebrows, which I believe (like cutting your own bangs) is a really really good thing to know how to do, here is a little tip that might help you to not over tweeze. Take a white eyeliner pencil draw on your brow a line shaping how you want your arch to look. Then shade with the pencil over all the hairs you plan to tweeze. Before you start tweezing look at yourself in the mirror, the white should be marking out what areas you are going to tweeze. I don’t recommend tweezing anything from the top of your eyebrows, only on the brow bone to create the arch shape you want, this results in a more natural looking brow.
Now ask yourself, “Do my eye brows look even? Do my brows still look full? Do I like the arch shade created by the white shading?” When you have answered “Yes” to these questions you can start tweezing. Don’t tweeze anything not covered by the white pencil shading.
If you are like me and you have bare patches from over tweezing, waxing, nervous pulling, etc, you can also pencil in your eyebrows. Chose a neutral color. Notice that your eyebrows are not the exact color of your hair, so don’t fill them in with a warm brown or gold blond. Places like MAC and Make Up For Ever have really good eyebrow pencils. When filling your brows make short little strokes, this mimics the look of actual eyebrow hairs and will look more natural. Also only fill where you need to, which might be either the outer corners or it might be your entire eyebrows if your hair is really light, you make the judgment call.
Ok, good luck with your eyebrows! And don’t get over zealous with these techniques if you haven’t grown your eyebrows out first!! I don’t want to be responsible for someone waxing or tweezing off all their eyebrows out of excitement. If this happens though, go to a vintage shop, buy T-strap heels, a pencil skirt and blouse, get a sculpted velor hat from a legit milliner and pencil in those eyebrows with a super thin, super arched line. Commit to a 30’s look and call it a day.
The Killing on AMC feels a lot like this other really famous show about a killing in the Pacific Northwest.
John and I watched The Killing last night. We then spent the rest of the night doing this bit where American producers meet with the Danish producers of "Forbrydelsen" (the original show) to tell them they want to make an American version of the show and the Danes have to explain to them that "Forbrydelsen" is actually the updated Danish version of America’s Twin Peaks. The bit had a lot of funny accents and jokes about Ikea, even though we know that is in Sweden. The Danish producers even had visual aids of the “Who Killed Rosie Larson” posters next to the “Who killed Laura Palmer” ad campaign, but the Americans didn’t understand they were making the same show.
Just like in Twin Peaks’s Laura Palmer, the viewer never meets Rosie Larson. We are only confronted with her death. Here is a list of all the other similarities between the two shows:
1. distraught parents
2. two detectives - one is super smart, the other is rough around the edges
3. a best friend who knows secrets and also appears to be in some way linked to a suspicious boyfriend who doesn’t seem to have anything to do with it - Sterling is The Killing’s Donna Hayward/ will that Jasper kid be James?
4. The Pacific Northwest
5. Teenagers doing drugs and having sex
I’m sure more similarities will present themselves, I hope it is in the form of a crazy lady with and eye patch. Who will be The Killing’s Log Lady?!?!?!?!
Don’t get me wrong we are totally sold on the show but, it kind of seems like The Killing might be the American version of the Danish version of Twin Peaks.
Ok, if you were stranded on a desert island and you could only take one piece of makeup, what would it be?
Mascara? DING DING DING mascara is CORRECT!!!
This is my case for mascara. It is the best, most important piece of makeup you will ever own. You can hate makeup, think it is dumb and a waste of time, but I urge you to give mascara a shot. Here’s the thing, I bet a lot of you would bring concealer to the desert island, but I’ll tell you why you shouldn’t: No one notices the dark circles under your eyes and blemishes on your face as much as you do!! I’m serious, I don’t notice them (unless I’m being paid to cover them up for a shoot), your friends don’t notice them, your boss probably doesn’t notice them (if he does he’s impressed you are working so hard), and your boyfriend/girlfriend definitely doesn’t notice them. The fact is the only people who do notice them are people who might not like you (who cares what they think anyway) and your ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend (because she’s scavenging for your faults). In short, you are covering up your imperfections for a very small minority of people. So instead of covering what you think bad, why not accentuate what is really really good: your eyelashes.
Eyelashes are a symbol of beauty so we are lucky that we all have them. Some people have longer lashes, or thicker lashes, or curly-er lashes, but for the most part we are all on an even playing field. Using mascara can make your eyelashes look 10 times, thicker, darker, and longer than they are when they’re bare, in turn drawing attention away from your “imperfections” and toward your eyes. Also, mascara is buildable, meaning you can apply many coats and your eyelashes will keep getting longer, thicker, and darker. I wear, like, ten coats of mascara.
The best part about mascara is it’s foolproof. You can be terrible at putting on makeup and that’s ok, some people never get the hang of it, but there is no way you can mess up mascara, so you don’t have a good excuse for why you’re not wearing it. Also it takes like 1 minute to apply (even if you put on as many coats as I do) so you do have time to put it on before work, even when you wake up at the last possible second. I bet you can get at least one coat on in the elevator ride to your office.
For those of you who dismiss makeup altogether, I would like to use my bff since childhood Amanda Ferri (you know, from the internet) as an example. Amanda doesn’t really wear makeup unless she looking fancy for a party. She is a casual dresser and really the most high-maintenance thing she does is flat iron her bangs. But notice she’s probably wearing mascara and that is why her bright blue eyes look even brighter and bluer. Amanda is a great example of how a little of bit of effort (in the form of mascara) goes a really long way.
So, just to recap: No one is looking at your dark circles, especially not your significant other. Wearing mascara will make your eyes look bigger, brighter, and more defined in less than one minute. You do have time to apply it. And it is impossible to mess up.
Eyes are the most beautiful feature on every person’s face. Stop comparing yours eyes to others peoples’ eyes; yours are really pretty too. So please, next time you are being abandoned a desert island and can only pack one piece of makeup, bring mascara. I promise you’ll look really good while you get that signal fire going.
My mascara recommendations include: Make Up For Ever Smokey Lash, Fiberwig, anything by Lancome.